I think the reason why I started this thread was that I'm too afraid of doing any mistakes and in aviation it can be fatal. Which leads to the pain I would cause to my close ones. I don't know what makes it so big thing because the result can be pretty much the same if you are crossing a street lost in your thoughts without checking is there any cars coming.
Maybe going flying thinking about this might be my last flight is too much to handle for me or I just take it too seriously (can you be too serious?) and be afraid of making mistakes. Maybe I can get over this and continue flying. At the moment I don't want to do it which fine. I'm not forcing myself into anything and I'm hoping that other pilots who have similar kind of thoughts would think twice or more are they able to fly. Maybe you are not worried about dying while flying, but what about your passengers? Are you able to take their lives on your hands?
For those who think that they can't have a fatal accident while flying... Never say never. Unfortunately, there are fatal accidents that are caused by a technical failure where the pilot can only make a mayday mayday -call and hope for the best.
Fly safe and keep up the conversation!