*Scene in Checkboard's house*
Lying in bed on a windy night, you hear the sound of tinkling glass downstairs and furtive movements in the lounge and then footsteps coming up the stairs. Your children are sleeping peacefully in their beds.
*Checkboard: "Hello?! Hello?! Who is there?Are you a burglar?"
*No reply*
*Checkboard: "If you don't answer me you'll leave me no option but to shout for help! That'll teach you!"
*Still no reply*
*Checkboard: "Okay, you've asked for it; I'm going to have to use reasonable force to restrain your activities!"
*Burglar: "!!!!!"*