Sadly it seems that good manners are declining with each successive generation throughout society.
I try to treat people in the way which I myself like to be treated. Brief, simple curtesies and good manners are all basic components of building and sustaining my crew into a team. The same goes beyond the crew to Traffic staff, Engineers, the refueller etc all the way to the Hotel staff when we check-in at the end of the day.
As for R/T, when it is busy lets stick to the essentials, but when possible why not say please and thanks for the "direct to" or "cancel speed restriction" etc. The same common sense applies inside the cockpit. Don't expect me to be saying please and thank you during a rejected take off or a missed approach, but I would be thanking my F/O for his support etc afterwards.
HKG ATC are not perfect, but neither are we CX pilots. I often cringe when overhearing my collegues blunt or sarcastic transmissions, but then I do also share their frustrations from time to time with certain ATC controllers or situations.
When frustrations start to rise I find it helpful to consider how the same situation would be handled with ATC in BOM, DEL, JFK etc. Personally I will happily take the delay or disruption under the control of HKG ATC anyday compared to almost everywhere else in the world (except perhaps LHR, who are and always will be the worlds best).
A few months ago I flew in from south asia to HKG. Just prior to descent we had a medical emergency, and received the usual superb response from HKG ATC for this situation.
After the flight I phoned the HKG ATC supervisor to register my thanks for the slick arrival and very professional support by his guys and girls from 200 miles out all the way to our parking bay. As we turned into the parking bay the ambulance was pulling into position, nice job! (My sick passenger ultimately ok in hospital) Below is a synopsis of the phone call.
Ring... Ring...
ATC "Yeh"
Me "Hello, is that the ATC Supervisor?"
ATC "Yep"
Me "Ah.. I was the Captain of CXxxx. I am just calling to thank your guys for the very nice arrival from xxx. We had a medical emergency and your guys really did an excellent job of getting us where we needed asap"
ATC "OK". Click (He just hangs up on me!!)
Me "Ohh..."
My initial response was to think "F*uck Y*u, that's the last time I ever thank HKG ATC for anything". But in all fairness, the Supervisor sounded as if his first language was not English, so perhaps his words (or lack of) were not a true reflection of what he meant to say.
If this Supervisor did not pass on my thank you to the guys and girls in HKG radar, approach, director, tower and ground that evening, then shame on him. Thank you for this incident, plus a similar one more recently and the day to day HKG ATC service which I have taken for granted for the past 12 years.
However please lets keep up the good manners (but keep it short) where it is possible.