Sleggy,
You were an NPPL student in February 2007 yet now you are flying A330?...
Let me give you some sound advice. Never rush to blame people, especially not as an officer. Part of your duty as a responsable person for safety and a head of a work-team is to first try and know all the facts before judgement. That is called leadership.
ATC merely asked 2 times wether the involved flight needed de-icing, only the captain of the neigbour aircraft (LTD) warned the crew that he percieved it necessary for them to de-ice (again?). Well done to him as most here agree.
By the way, any pilot refusing to aknowledge the danger of icing should not fly. Period. Wether it is passengers, cargo or sightseeing the Grand-Canyon in his own little C152.