why does that make me, in AlphaMale's words, "a very silly boy"? I know it's a mild insult, but it's still unnecessary. I'm not anti-Mac; but I am anti-lock-in, anti-lazy-assumption, anti-ignorance, and anti-smugness.
Take a chill pill Bill! ... It was meant as a joke and if anything I'd assume it would get Gonzo's back up, lucky he sees this thread on a mature level then.
Word Processing
Spreadsheets
Make Presentations
These are the areas not covered in a basic purchased Mac. Either run your old suite natively in Windows with 'bootcamp,' provided within the operating system or one of the neater, paid for, solutions like VM's fusion. About 50 quid I think.
I think £50 is a pretty good 'legal' investment; I was impressed with the little things with my Mac that you pay a premium for a PC. I bet the PC Gonzo compared to a Mac didn't come with built in Bluetooth, Fire wire ports and 2.0 USB ports as standard?
You can see where the PC makers cut corners to fool the public you can actually get a PC for the price of a Mac. 
Maybe having to upgrade the PC to a FireWire 400, FireWire 800, 5 x USB 2.0 ports and making the PC Bluetooth would neutralise the £50 spent on 'Office for Mac'. (Keep in mind the FireWire 400 and FireWire 800 will set you back £20 and £40 respectively).
You'll still be short of a built in iSight etc by I wont put the boot in any more than I need to 
(There was me thinking this thread had gone to sleep)