AC Ovee,
1. You, my friend, resemble the End of a Bell.
2. Either that, or you're a great wind-up artist.
3. Or you're a stunningly low-average aircrew mate.
4. Or quite possibly you have no knowledge of anything aviation-related at all.
If it's 3 or 4, then 1 applies.
If it's 2, then you've got us all hook, line and sinker. And therefore 1 still applies.