LabQueen,
Please, for the sake of your own sanity, stop looking at PPrune!
Its a simple as that. Don't come on here, lambasting everyone who has passed a comment or made a suggestion and being rude to some of them. You are out of order madam.
We have all made it abundantly clear that you and the others have our deepest sympathy and condolences, and many of us share in your grief to a greater or lesser degree, but I fail to see why you constantly inflict pain upon yourself by reading what's posted here.
You have made your point, and expressed your wishes; clearly that isn't going to happen, so I think that would be best for you now to just not log on here anymore.
Kind regards
TSM