Prophecy, Prophecy, Prophecy.......
Well, I'm sorry to say that as I predicted, Heathrow lived down to my worst expectations on Friday past. After the best part of 24 hours spent travelling Economy Class on Singapore Airlines from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur, then Business Class to Abu Dhabi and then on to Heathrow, both on Etihad. The previous arrivals into SIN, KUL & AUH were pleasant and welcoming to say the least, transit from aircraft to immigration to baggage claim was rapid, efficient, clean and pleasant.
Arriving into T3 at Heathrow around mid-day, armed with a "priority pass" for immigration, it took a twenty minute hike to get to immigration and a huge queue in the cattle grids leading to all of the immigration desks and the priority queue nearly as long. Just then, the first welcome to the UK, half of the immigration staff go to Lunch. Ten minutes later, most of the rest left for lunch leaving about five desks covering the whole immigration hall for about fifteen flights that had arrived about the same time. The priority queue was reduced to a single desk processing all the business and first class passengers on these flights. needless to say, this line ran consequently slower than the others. After a wasted fifteen minutes in the immigration queue, on to the baggage hall and a ten minute wait for the first of the hold baggage to appear. But no trolleys.
No signs for trolleys either.
Our bags appeared on belt 6, so a wander up to the far end at belt 1 eventually unearthed about twenty trolleys hidden in the corner by a closed service desk, with a notice about four foot up the back wall stating that "For your convenience all trolleys are now kept at belt 1 and belt 11" as there are no other signs visible telling you where the trolleys are, just how convenient do they think it is to hide the trolleys?
Then to Customs. pretty much a painless and courteous experience here, except the circuitous route through their domain and a trolley that had the steering precision of a pregnant whale.
A complete lack of transport between the terminals meant a tript with a well loaded trolley with luggage for two on board through the tunnels between T3 & T1. It's a great pity that the moving walkways aren't wide enough for two trolleys to pass each other, likewise that they don't end at the start of a trolley route and you have to back track round tight corners & fairly steep inclines to get up to T1 ground level again.
Once into the havoc of T1 it was time to try to check in to BMI to get back home to EDI. BMI can't afford to have people on check in desks, but they are quite prepared to have three or four hang about a set of scales to physically weigh every item of hold baggage and charge you through the nose for any discrepancy. Despite no charges outbound or on the return leg on any of the other Star Alliance members used, BMI were happy to hit us for over $200. Once you get past this happy band you have to check youself in then take your bags to a set of check in desks for hold baggage manned by as many folks as used to man the tradiational check in desks, so I can't figure how this would be cheaper for BMI. Once the hold bags were in, on to security.
At security, yellow/green waistcoated gestapo are demanding to know the exact contents of your carry on bags and advising all and sundry that any liquids in your carry on must either be less than 100ml or will be confiscated. They are also proclaiming that you are allowed one bag only, yet let people through with carry-ons which were clearly three separate bags stacked together and larger than the usual skeleton "Try you bag here" frame. I was stopped as I had my computer roll-on bag & a small rucsac which came as a freebie with my duty free bought in KUL, sealed in a clear plastic bag with a tamper evident seal and the receipt duly exhibited inside it, in full compliance with DFT requirements. However the "securitate" cannot be wrong and I was told that only duty free bought within the EU can be carried on UK domestic flights all other duty free has to be put in the hold. Great thinking guys, don't tell the poor b****rds that have been awake for over 24 hours that they have to repack their bags again until after they have checked them all in.
A55H0L3S!!!
Once past this nonsense, the screening queues were about thirty yards long. At EDI, theres usually about five or six screening points running at quiet periods. At LHR, peak time on a Friday, there were three, one of which was constantly being disrupted for "key BAA personnel" to butt in to the head of the queue then spend five or ten minutes chatting to those scanning the bags and on the body searches.
The ultimate irony has to be that we were told "get your bloody shoes off and get them through the scanner or you won't be flying anywhere". Having spent the best part of the previous day in the air wearing training shoes with paper thin soles, what did they expect to see?
Welcome home to the UK, home of the rip-off, arrogant & unhelpful staff and customer disservice. No wonder everyone hates Heathrow.
Donkey497