FFF,
I agree with your personal critique from your description of your fuel scenario. I don't believe it is up to ATC to decide how the situation should be handled, but in the absence of any clear instructions from the pilot, they can be trusted to make the sensible decision on your behalf. But I don't believe that is the point.
Bravo,
a) Distress A condition of being threatened by serious and/or imminent danger and of requiring immediate assistance.
For the scenario we are discussing here, I believe that a useless engine on a twin does required immediate assistance, it is a distinct threat to the safety of the aircraft and certain measures should be put in place to mitigate. I can understand why people believe that a Mayday is a sledgehammer to crack a nut, but I suspect there is a distinct possibility that the size of the nut is often times not fully appreciated.