To take your second example: most drunk drivers get home safely. In fact, I'm guessing that something on the order of only one in ten thoiusand drunk driving sectors ends with anything but an arrival at home.
What some folks aren't seeing is that, while "cause" is a neutral assessment of an event - even Aristotle, who gave us the first formal theory of causation, would argue that the victim was a cause of the murder - "responsibility" implies a judgment.
Before you judge, you have to evaluate the whole causal system. Then, when you run into a stupid airmanship mistake, you need to look at the circumstances that caused it. Unofficial procedure trying to squeeze out those phantom fifty-five meters? People pouring gasoline all over the place? Unsafe conditions breed unsafe behavior. But those are my judgments.