Pull up a sandbag ~ "I remember when..

[Airborne Aircrew]

You know... I can't believe we have come this far into the thread and, having had the recurring theme of smells, not have had anyone mention some of the more "succulent" things about the Belize City Market.

Ahhh... The Belize City Market... It was something of a right of passage for each new chap. Here follows a few "snapshots"...

1. Flt Lt Jamie D***** walking towards the market meets a local gent coming the other way. Now, Jamie is a... errr... portly chap and the local is skinny, probably high on ganja and has the biggest boom box ever on his shoulder blasting reggae. Jamie, being the cool dude he is, flips a peace sign at the local and says "heeeey maaan...". The local stops, looks Jamie up and down and says "Heeey, it's the mighty whitey"... and walks on...
2. The navigator who lasted only about a minute in the market before saying "fcuk this", putting one hand over his mouth and running for the door.
3. Watching a lady order something and seeing the stall owner lift the "tablecloth", pull out a live turtle, cutting off a fin, wrapping it in yesterday's paper and putting the turtle back under the table...
4. The fishmongers were by the river and would throw the fish guts etc. into it. The water would boil with the catfish but it was so black and dirty that you could never see them.
5. Looking at the meat market for the first time and wondering why the meat looked so dark until I realized that all you needed to do was to wave your hand over the meat and the flies would leave...
6. There was the time when there was the drunk in the meat market unconscious on the floor in a huge puddle of his own puke... and everyone just stepping over him.

Belize City had it's "fun times" too:-

1. The river was so dirty standing orders had you go directly to sick bay if you fell in. Andy "Pigpen" P**** fell in once I think and was four days in sick bay. But at the swing bridge on Saturdays the kids stand on the parapet of the bridge asking for quarters... It's customary to throw them in the river. The river that is so dirty you can't see the catfish feeding on the surface. The kid always comes up with the quarter.
2. Sqn Ldr B******'s wife is in Belize for a visit and we are all walking through the City to the Chateau Caribbean. A bum starts bothering us. Usually I wasn't particularly polite to them which was effective at getting rid of them but with the boss's missus there that was a bit of an issue. After 300 yards of his woffling on about how poor he was I said "You know, you're a fcuking annoying little cnut. Why don't you fcuk off?" in a voice I thought was sufficiently quiet that she wouldn't hear. The boss, who was right next to her says "Nice Ginge..." with sufficient sarcasm to let me know he wasn't pleased when Mrs. Boss pipes up "I don't know, I was wondering why he was being so bloody restrained"... Cracked me up... and the bum left
3. Sitting on the last bus home at the swing bridge waiting for it to leave and seeing a mate I went down with earlier in the day get on the bus as white as a sheet... He'd just been mugged at gunpoint...
4. Always wearing a long sleeved shirt when you go to town at night. Not because SSO's said you should for mossie protection but because you hide the majority of your cash in the rolled up sleeve and have only $5US in your pocket.
5. Having the local come alongside while you're wandering around asking if you want to buy some Black Coral jewellery which is rare and therefore illegal. They proceed to show you some beautiful, highly polished dolphins, angelfish, ships etc. in black coral. You feign interest in a particular piece and barter for a better price. When the price is fixed you pull out your lighter and ask if you can test it while looking in his eyes. See, they spend a lot of time and effort making these "Black Coral" artifacts out of the old black plastic steering wheels... If it doesn't melt it's the very valuable Black Coral. If it does...
6. Walking through the city alongside a concrete open sewer. The homes beside it hung over above the sewer and, though I hadn't noticed it at the time each house had a nice round hole over the sewer. Suddenly, right next to me was a big splash like a large fish jumping. I look up to see that largest female nether regions through the hole doing things I had never witnessed from that angle before nor wish to again...

PS: For the Puma crews partaking in this... Does anyone know where Flt Sgt Dick B*****, who was the crewman trainer in the mid to late 80's on 33 Sqn is/what happened to him...