FWIW I can't stick AOL either & I've been on at them to get rid, but they're wrinklies & they're comfy with it. I've set up wireless networks with Linksys, netgear & Belkin for people using Tiscali, Orange, BT & Pipex & never had an intractable problem like this before.
What makes it worse is the buck passing between suppliers, although I believe AOL could fix this or at least point me in the right direction, they refuse to do so. I guess it's time to give in & fork out for a new router.