Moggiee said;
Al R - what I do is pick a religious condolence message as a play safe option. I express genuine sympathy, in a religious way. The old adage of avoiding sex, religion or politics if you are not sure of the views of your correspondent, thereby avoiding causing offence, has to be approached with care and aforethought.
By relying on the subject of religion in the first place I avoid the risk of giving offence - this is the polite thing to do (as you should always tread carefully with regards to the subject). For me, not to send a non religious card/message would be hypocritical as I believe in deity - and if the recipient knows me then they will know that to be the case and as such a non religious message would perhaps indicate a lack of sincerity on my part (a bit like the American "have a nice day"). If the recipient then can’t read some sort of spiritual message into the words that is their choice.
My brother in law and his wife are not yet born again Christians and tend away from the biblical on birthdays, condolences and (perhaps avoidably) Christmas. I accept that it's not important for them to do this because of their lack of faith faith and that they mean nothing but the best by it. In return, they don't yet understand that scripture means absolutely everything to me and that they are never going to make a non believerout of me! However, in this case we all know each other well enough to avoid giving/taking offence (although at first it DID irk me more than a little).
For the record, I do not normally attend church for weddings, funerals and baptisms – but out of respect for the person being buried/married/baptized, I do. I sing hymns and say prayers as not to do so would be hypocritical and would therefore insult other peoples' beliefs. Given my choice, I would always set foot in a church but would not so out of respect for the non believers at these services. I believe in God, not people and thus direct my thoughts towards him.
I hope that answers your question.
Yes the edit for clarity does help, I hope it does with you too. You know, I never thought that there could be 2 sides to the coin. There is room for everyone and their way of expression, is there not, without being judgemental?
"Have a nice day"