I was an old fart when I started flying. I am an even older one now
How old are you then ? It sounds like a very sad story to me, sorry to hear you are such an old fart. Someone wise to me said to do the things you wan't to do directly in life, and not wait until you become old.
There is not much of a help i can give to you, after all, time flies and we can't buy that back with all the money in the world. I'm 34 and feel that i have done already so much in my life, i hope i can at least double my age.
Why don't you fly all over europe ?