"It's amazing the number of crew that won't tell us if they break something. I once found one of the crew life jackets hidden away in one of the over-head stowage bins. Evidently they had somehow managed to inflate it by mistake (God only knows what they were trying to do) and then burst it with a knife from a dinner tray in an attempt to destroy the evidence."
Good heavens, man! - what sort of life jackets are these that can be punctured with a piece of plastic poo that won't cut my chicken?
GQ