658 Sqn. circa 1984 returning from a big NATO exercise in BAOR - Scout flight departed Minden following the standard route back to the UK but the weather deteriorated and there was an impromptu stop at Antwerp. The flight landed what seemed to be miles away from the terminal building on a huge expanse of nice clean concrete. Everyone piled off for a brew whilst the OC and others decided upon the next course of action.
The visibility was fairly good under a low but uniform cloud base and the decision was made to push on to Manston via Calais as planned. There they were, 6 Scouts all burning and turning when it was noticed that the OC had got out of his aircraft and was running towards one of the others down the line chopping his hand across his throat giving the recognised signal to cut engine. Everyone wound down to ground idle and crews craned their necks to see what the problem was.
The OC entered the disc of '3' and immediately walked to the side of the aircraft where there was a large clear puddle on the otherwise nice dry concrete under the aircraft near the rear cross tube.
Now as everyone knows, the old Scout had a decking well, under the engine that vented to the ground beneath in the area of the rear cross tube. It was common for accumulated water - or spilt fuel - to gather in the well and then vent to the ground.
The OC bent over and dabbed his finger into the liquid and then pushed it to his nose to smell and lick. Clearly concerned that there might be a fuel leak.
Satisfied that it was not fuel, the OC gave the thumbs up and retired back to his aircraft. The flight duly departed a few minutes later. How anyone in the flight managed to stay sensible for that trip to Manston is a wonder, each aircraft visibly 'bounced along' as the crew's tried to stay in control, gripped by fits of uncontrollable laughter. The 'chat' frequency [different from the one the OC believed to be in use] was buzzing the whole way.
In planning at Manston the OC's expression made it perfectly clear he had been informed the puddle he'd inspected diligently at Antwerp was in fact where the crew had had a last minute wazzz before take off.
It is not clear whether the OC [Nookie Nick the tumbler of Tumbledown - another story] was more annoyed at the event or the fact that everyone knew except him.
Soon the rest of the Sqn and the whole of Netheravon heard the tale and the following appeared on routine orders early the following week:
'WEF from [insert date] members of the squadron are forbidden to urinate or defecate anywhere except approved facilities whether in the field on exercise or at other location. Offenders will be dealt with severely.'