Splitplot – good news, there is a solution for your problem!
If you want to be poorly paid pilot and to only work for 18 hours a week you can pay Ryanair (the High Pay airline) for a B737-800 rating and join them to be bonded in for several years of cheap labour. Given your outlook they will welcome you with open arms, so your job prospects are nothing like as poor as you think.
As a bonus you could probably arrange to have your licence or a tee-shirt endorsed “Not a strutting peacock” and “Proud to employed by MOL”.