I will often ask an A/G operator "Is there any other traffic about, and do you like or dislike straight-in approaches?"
I'm not asking for instructions, and it leaves them clear to say what they choose. More than once I've had "No other traffic; we prefer straight-in, offset to avoid XXX, to keep the neighbours happy". No problem.
If I've heard other traffic on frequency making an SOJ, I know what to expect and will plan for the same. Some places seem to like SOJ even if there's nobody else around - fair enough. I did one at Beccles last week!
SOJ isn't exactly difficult, once I've managed to visualise it in my mind. Something like "descending turn on the deadside to cross the upwind end of the runway in use, over the numbers, at circuit height" as I recall. But then "home" is full ATC with radar, and joins are invariably the most efficient way to slot into the existing traffic.
I fly pretty tight circuits - and still I get cut up at A/G fields by others joining on base leg, or long final. One day I'll forget my manners...