Originally Posted by PingDit
The 'shreds' thing was obviously a great ice-breaker and a good idea. I've worked with U.S. servicemen/women for the last few years now. Their view is that you shouldn't ask and similarly, don't tell. It may be viewed by some to be a somewhat blinkered view, but it actually seems to work. If anyone brings anything like that up in service conversation, it's immediately frowned upon. I don't actually give a hoot what peoples preferences are, just keep them private, anything that follows will only be speculation by third parties.
An admirable view on the whole; I agree that the
best way to progress is for sexuality to become as important to people as gender - i.e., to be completely forgotten about. When people feel confident enough to banter with a gay airman, it's a true sign that he's been accepted; we thrive on banter, after all (even CAS says so!).
But the problem with Don't Ask Don't Tell is that it maintains an unfair status quo; banter, for example, would be out of the question. What about taking partners to mess functions? What about married quarters for civilly-partnered personnel? You can't get away from the fact that some gay people are open about who they are, as a matter of necessity when it comes to civil partnerships. I don't think that's a problem per se; I'd have problems with someone making it the central issue in their workplace, to be sure, but people should feel comfortable with introducing their partners to colleagues. It's just fair!
I think that there are still some problems to be ironed out; still some institutional reluctance to accept change. Certainly not at our level, where I think things
have moved on, but at higher levels. The conference gives people a chance to confront senior officers with these difficulties and to get information from the horses' mouths, so to speak.
And while I agree with AT that bullying is a service-wide issue, I think that the examples I highlighted (although a small sample) indicate a worrying culture of homophobia that still lingers on. I think that the old cultures of racism and sexism have been successfully eradicated; homophobia is on its way to being eradicated as well, but at the moment there are some very senior officers who treat it as a complete irrelevance. They're the ones we're trying to engage with. As I said earlier, I know you disagree with the conference, but please give it a chance. Trying to change your views is, I know, a lost cause, but I will at least pray your forbearance!