The following have worked in the last year:
"If you're looking for people to upgrade, we'd be happy to oblige" followed by much cooing over how many flags he had on his name badge "gosh you can speak THAT many languages.
"I know the flight is full but if it makes any difference I'm aircrew and would be happy to go in the jump seat"
"I'm returning home on sick leave having just been held hostage (true), do you have any quiet seats?"
Also, when a ticketing computer went down I was among 300+ pax on standby for a 747 out of LOS once. 4 of us formed an orderly queue at the back of a screaming mass of humanity, and were spotted by the supervisor. "come this way sirs, thank you for your patience".
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Another day in paradise
[This message has been edited by 212man (edited 18 September 2000).]