More of you pilots concerned with low salaries in UK, you should be considering coming to our warm, friendly country of Nigeria. Our company, the world centre of helicopter excellence offers the toppest salaries in the world, thanks to the kind generosity of daddy and myself. You see, we have both been to top English universities and have economical degrees, so we know the true value of a contented, well-paid work force. Naturally, you can't expect a top salary with these ridiculous even time rosters these foolish American companies pay, but 4 months on followed by a whole month of leave is a small price to pay for having the experience of working for our company to put on your CV. In addition to our generous salaries and paid leave, we offer toppest class luxury housing in a superb, modern apartment block with both water and a generator to supply electricity when there are people at home. Once your family have seen the photographs they will surely want to come and join you here, and it's well known that we Nigerians love children (there's been a lot of publicity about that on Sky TV lately). VIP airline uniforms are carefull hand made by some of Nigeria's toppest tailors using modern machinery. A special footwear allowance is paid to ensure that you complete the fashion icon look with a shinny new pair of pointy shoes every single year. With our salary safely in your Nigerian bank account you'll also surely want to purchase some of those Tom Cruse shinny lens sunglasses so all the girls will know you're a top aviator and be falling over themselfs to share a Gordons Spark with you at one of the Lagos hot nite spots like Where Not or even luxury Ikeja hot spots like Metro bar.
You'll fly one of our carefully chosen, fantastically maintained world beating fleet of Jumbolinos, soon to be joined by one of the world's largest fleets of S92s for our world beating, highly publisized, 24 hour shuttle operation between the nation's commercial center, Victoria Island and the international airport. We also now have vacancies for Twinned Ootter pilots for our world beating new expansion into luxury aeroplane travel.
No need to worry about your safety, once the robbers know you work for daddy you'll be left well alone as every Nigerian knows better than to make him mad. Should you have the misfortune to be mugged or hijacked by mistake, you'll have the comfort of knowing that your job will probably still be waiting for you if you return and your salary will resume immediately you have your freedom. If during this unfortunate happening you fall ill or get injured, no need to worry as our medical insurance will ensure your admittance to one of our many world centres of medical excellence to be found all over Lagos and even some other cities.
If you're an Arsenal supporter be sure to mention that on your CV and daddy will so love you for it he'll welcome you in person. So, put away your rainy English summer blues and come out to the inviting, sunny paradise right now
