If an airplane was overstressed and it resulted in permanent deformation, then it is possible that the damage is visible. Unfortunately fatigue damage is not visible until it results in cracks. In high stressed components like the wing spar the damage may progress from a small crack to a failed wing rather suddenly. This kind of damage is usually impossible to detect without a very thourough inspection of the component in the right stage (small crack developed but not completely failed). The time from visible crack to failed wing can be only a few cycles, depending on the load factors. This has happened on some metal (aluminum) airplanes which unexpectedly lost a wing. They were usually subjected to higher than normal load cycles (lots of time flying low level through turbulence or aerobatics) for much of their life. Composite or wood airplanes are much less affected by fatigue. The only way to determine fatigue damage is by monitoring the load cycles, which as far as I know only the military does. Very few small airplanes have been fatigue tested and have a known life.
If you fly a certified airplane, it should be able to land without elevator control, just the elevator trim. In case the aileron control fails, you should be able to fly with rudder, but be carefull with full flaps, in most cases lateral stability is rather marginal there. Better to land with flaps up for better control.