This e-mail been doing the rounds of a cbin crew announcement on China Southern. At least they make the effort in the cabin with the english:
Pre-takeoff announcement on a China Southern Airlines flight
This is said to be a true account of what was heard on a recent flight
from Shenzhen to Qingdao:
" Good afternoon, Ladies and the German. This is your cheap purser Wang
Lui speaking. On behalf of China Sudden Airlines, I would like to
welcome you on board our Bowling 737 from Shenzhen to Qingdao. Members
of my crew speak Chinese and other languages that you do not know. It
is a great pressure serving you to-die. Should you need any resistance
during the fright, peace do pest the call button. I and my gals are
available to make you feel comfortable. Meanwhile, the airkwaft is
going to fry. Peace sit upright and keep you belt tightly fastened
until dinner is served at five dirty p.m. Hope you would enjoy your
fright with us. Funk kill ! "