Blimey - I already know when I'm outclassed - this is NOT sounding like a knock-about on the village green!
The last time I ever played was in the Caribbean. I got conned into turning out for the High Commissioner's XI against Mustique. We weren't doing all that badly until there was a change in the Mustique bowling. New guy came on and there was that clatter of leather on ash... A few numbers on the scoreboard climbed (not the ones we wanted) and we were down to something truly horrible for 8. I was padding up (slow off-spinner) and overheard a conversation...
"You know, there's something very familiar about that bowler..."
"I know what you mean - lovely style"
"No, not just that - I mean he's the spitting image of Michael Holding"
"OMG - I think you're right"
Yep - the Mustique side had sneaked a ringer on their team. I took the field with my knees knocking, and faced "The Whispering Death". I was quite proud to last one whole ball unscathed before being out second ball for a duck to one of the best bowlers in the world!
But ouch...
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Breeding Per Dementia Unto Something Jolly Big, Toodle-pip