Security baffoonery
Going through security.... take off the oversized pilot style watch....take off the company id and its chain attachment....take off the Miraclulous Medal....take out the 14 metal pens from my breast pocket....take off the cap with the Americanised metal company logo....take off the jacket with the Americanised company wings....take off the glasses...out of the pocket comes the looses change.... the wallet as I hold my breath hoping that the girlfriends and wifes pictures do not fall out together...... .Now I am rady to be demetalised. . ."HA,HA!!!"" I exclaim as there is no beep informing the as always alert security personnel that I am "clean". My joy is short lived as alas the security system in this country is such that if I am required to open any bag I am also required to have my shoes tested for bombs! "Yes a bum" ( as my friend inspector Clousteau would say). "A bum, dat is what I said you ful". .Which bag did I have to open you may ask. Well it was not the overnight bag, filled with hotel coat hangers, inflatable Betsy and a host of other goodies some of which resemble the threshold of JFKs busy runway. No the bag which I had to open was my Airbus computer bag. You see in the USA one is required to put the computer through the xray machine seperately from the computer case, a result being that you fall under the "your bag had to be requested to be opened even though it only has a computer in it so now you will remove your shoes because we all know the connection between opening your bags and your shoes rule".. .So there I am struggling to put my jacket on, my id in place, my wallet into my pocket while trying to orchestrate with the bag machine operator to back up the belt as the bags she was sending down was causing a backup that made the M4 on a Friday evening look like a Sunday drive in the Moors. I managed to get my uniform rescued from the melee, although it now looked like I sat on it in the crew bus from the hotel and my hat would take a good beating to resemble a hat again. I take my shoes off and get them de fragistickated or whatever that rag thing does and off I go. . .I understand the security issues. I see the need ffor them. I just hate the knee jerk reaction that is being used to stop terrorism. Searching all one way ticket holding passengers is fine but is the government that stupid that they don't realise that Muhammed and his terrorist buddies do not know this. I am sure that Mustaffah will be more than willing to buy a roundtrip ticket in order to avoid being searched....I believe that one can get better deals when you buy roundtrip now too!!!. .So when a guy is found to have explosives in his shoe the solution is to xray all shoes. I am dreading the day when I turn on the BBC to hear that a guy was caught with explosives in his undies or in a cavity!!!!! <img src="frown.gif" border="0"> <img src="frown.gif" border="0"> <img src="eek.gif" border="0"> <img src="eek.gif" border="0">