Big Sand,
Here are a few of the Chicago Department Store verses - there are many others, lost in the alcoholic haze...
Carpet she wanted, shagged she got
Nails she wanted, nailed she got
Pins she wanted, screwed she got
Lift she wanted, shafted she got
Kitkat she wanted, four fingers she got
Ruler she wanted, twelve inches she got
Hen she wanted, cock she got
or, for football fans of the mid-90s
Schmeichel she wanted, Seaman she got
Just in case Women's Lib are having palpitations, I won't even start on the 'Jamboree at the Tampax Factory' song! (nor the VD song, nor 'Would you like to sit on my face?'...)
TOTD