Standard procedure on one of the airlines I see daily is this.
Refuelling starts whenever the refueller decides to get to the aircraft. Whether it's safe to start or not.
The cabin crew swan around oblivious, either glad handing each other or moaning at the catering staff.
The Catering and Cleaning staff block as many exits as possible with trucks, carts and boxes, ably assisted by cabin crew who insist on setting up the drinks trolly across the remaining exit (blocking it also).
The ground handling agent places a set of steps at a rear door when they can be bothered to. I say "at the door" what I mean is approximately in line with but about 5 ft below and a couple of feet from the fuselage.
If there are any flight crew on the aircraft they will have locked the cockpit door and are having a quiet smoke, totally oblivious to calls from the ground and refusing entry to anyone attempting access.
Passengers will be in and out of the aircraft making mobile phone calls or strapped into their seats fast asleep or dead depending on your point of view.
The engineers will be banging their heads against a wall somewhere as it is far more productive than actually attempting to get the correct procedures to be followed despite all their efforts for the past 5 years.
I kid you not!
