Indian instructor colleague of mine to ATC: 'Can we have the runway lights turned down a bit please; I'm getting suntan here and I'm already black.'
My best rival to that:
On final approach, ATC ask if I can accept a displaced threshold abeam the first exit as an engineer is working on the PAPIs. At half a mile, he offers me full length as the engineer has finished. My reply, 'I can see he's finished; looks like he's taken all the red bulbs out and put white ones in'. After a long pause, I hear the reply, 'Very good...'.