"I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that last wave swept our whingeing GE overboard. The bad news is he was holding the oven at the time."
or
Yep, same as last trip boss. That bloody Judas Escariat turned the rations away at the quayside.
or
What do you mean "don't worry lads I've been doing this since Pontius WAS a Pilate?"
or
Apparently this is nothing compared to the approach into Kai Tak airport.