Back in the days when I was coffee bar officer we could only get our rations from NAAFI (now Spar) - I can't see them selling Chorizo or sides of fish (was it Cod?).
So come on Gordo. What can you rustle up with Spar Cheese, Spar Brown Sauce and Spar Bread (white of course)? The entree is Champion crisps and all washed down with a delightful 2003 vintage Panda Pop (out of date).
Of course the SHEF (Health and Safety idiot not the cook) would have a fit about a propane burning cooker needed to cook Gordo's chosen menu.