Ahhh Fil, this is a novel approach, and all done without profanity or p*sstake... I've personally logged out ETOPS and I think Whats it doing now? - or maybe it was Airforcenone, I can't remember - from the same "e-Working Cafe" (computers next to the maildrops to normal people) in the last few weeks.
Hear you've been flying with at least one right dodgy skipper recently, but survived intact! All the best...
£6