As we are telling stories, I thought I would add my tuppence worth. A few years ago I had a passenger arrested on arrival in Palma. He had been caught smoking in the toilet which was bad enough but it was his "couldn't give a stuff" reaction to the cabin crew's remonstrations that sealed it for me (and him).
When I eventually manged to get down the stairs I could see a man gesticulating and remonstrating with the Guardia Civil. So I go up to him and tell him that it all very well being sorry now but it should have happened a long time ago when the cabin crew tackled him. His response? "But Captain I am your agent, that is the passenger over there" pointing to a very quiet individual who was standing at the bottom of the same steps which I had just descended. Exit stage right pne very embarrased pilot muttering " let that be a lesson to you anyway...no you I mean".
Sorry about all that, just thought I'd lighten it up a little. But before anyone accuses me of treating the subject lightly, I should perhaps add that I have actually been to court over another such incident but that is yet another story and yes I did get the right guy that time!