east sider, the FAA light signal test has a 95% pass rate. This probably means that all trichromates will pass. You have to have faith in yourself.
I DO understand the family ties. I am in much of a same situation - 10 year relationship and an elderley mother, now on her own after my father died a few years ago. However there IS work on an FAA licence in this country and very kind people have messaged me about contract work overseas - like one month on and one month off - gives you great time to spend with love ones and fly - and get a good pay day!!
It is never going to be easy. Even without CVD professional aviation requires dedication and is a long uphill ride, even more so for the likes of us.
As for other JAA states - why not have a few days holiday with your other half and take a few hours off to do the tests.
I have had a message from this forum from someone who it took 5 years to pass a test - he recons he failed everything going, but passed in the end and got an unrestricted class 1 - now that is dedication.
In the end, none of us can tell you what you should do, only you can decide that, you must go with what is right for you. Just remember we are all behind you. I know how it feels to fail the tests. I have been described as moderate deuteranomaly - probably worse than you, but I have the FAA letter of evidance to fall back on and that gives me hope.
All the best mate you are not alone in your feelings.