"In my opinion ............ (rank) ............... (name) is/is not mentally balanced and capable/incapable of doing his/her job at ....................... (station or unit) which is exhilarating/steady/boring and has regular/irregular hours on a ............ (insert number between 1 and 4) day week in a satisfactory/unsatisfactory manner provided he/she is fed at regular times in clean air conditioned accommodation that has a private bedspace/room/en suite room/apartment/house with spouse/wife/husband/partner and adequate supplies or alcohol and/or pork pies. If any of the above conditions are not met then I have not the slightest idea."
How about that?