I keep thinking that this post is gradually fading way, but it will keep on being resurrected!
These last two posts, and the input from BurglarsDog and Wee Jock, give me hope that there may be light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm repeating myself again, but I do feel that any confusion/ambiguity is introduced because Shawbury teach that "request coordination" must be said. A lot of Mil ATCOs will probably disagree, but if they were taught more along the lines of MATS part 1, ( coordination is the act, etc), not only would it make more sense to you, but the confusion would not arise in the first place as you will not be looking for that "trigger" phrase. It's not what you say, but why you say it that seems to be at least part of the problem.
As others have already said, there are also some things we could learn from the Mil way of working.