I did exactly what you want to do Deno, for exactly the same reasons. Based on my experiences I would still suggest that you don't train in the USA. First you have major visa hassles that I did not have. They are not as welcoming to foreign pilots as they used to be, often downright rude. Secondly, the J1 visa makes you vulnerable to exploitation. If your training provider does not like you for some reason they can prevent you from obtaining an instructor job. This means that you often have to bite your lip. My school screwed up my bills, claimed I owed them money I did not and made arbitrary changes to my training contract. When you want a job off them at the end of training your right to complaint is limited. This is made even more difficult being in a foreign country with different laws. The J1 allows them to grab you by the balls and that is bad news for you. On the training front, most US schools are running tight on instructors with any kind of experience, in particluar those able to teach instructor ratings. This may mean inferior training and possible delays, although there will be work for you when you're qualified. Yes you'll get hours as an instructor but what value are they in the UK? Many of the airlines that used to value instructional time in the past are now defunct (BA Regional) want low how guys who'll pay for TR's (Eastern & Logan) or take cadets from certain schools (FLYBE). Most jet operators are still out of your league with only piston time. The instructional experience opened up doors for me but only at dodgy charter outfits. The only decent door that opened up was BMI Regional who have always liked US trained guys with hours. The jet job I have lined up I could have got with 200hrs!
Next up, your costs are too low and you need to budget more. Let's have a look at them. Your US costs of $45,000 are sensible and I'm not going to argue. Having said that San Diego, is a very expensive city to live in! The conversion costs are way low:-
Prehaps could do a distance learning ATPL theory course at the same time? Say $5,000
Yes, but you'll be working hard as an instructor and that will take more time than you think. You will need to budget £1000 examination fees + flights to the brushups + accomodation at the exam venues.
Return to U.K, convert IR... Approx $ 10,000
You missed out the CPL conversion as well! UK schools love doing these conversions because they tend to take loads of extra hours and they can milk you dry. Read the thread on conversions to JAA. Do you know that you will have to pay £1400 in examiner fees for these the CPL/IR and that if you fail you will end up paying again? One bloke who converted to JAA while I was doing my conversion went bankrupt because he had gone so many hours over budget. Oh and you forgot about the MCC which is another £2000. Also, this day and age you would be wise to budget for a Type Rating, the way things are going. £20,000 should do the trick. Budget for reduced pay for a while too.
I'm not having a go at you Deno; you sound like a good, sensible guy. I just want to pass on some wisdom learned the hard way. I think that you have probably budgeted half of what you might need. I paid in the low region of what I could have trained for in the UK, plus major aggravation in the process. Shipping the missus and kid half way across the world on a temporary basis to chase YOUR dream of being a pilot is a risky business that will affect their future. I'm sure you have that figured though; right? Anyway good luck with the training and best advice to all wanabees is to leave America to the Americans!