we went for 'Would anyone like a drink?'
"what's wrong with Ken Dodd's dad's dog darling?
- I don't care about Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog - I'm glad the damned dalmation's dead!
- oh come! Ken dodd's dad's dog was no trouble darling! it always seemed like a decidedly decent dog to this detective!"
(Lines from a very silly short play I was once in - brought back many memories - thanks edward spannerhands)