I've been there as well, lost the family, done all the silly stuff. Given myself all the good reasons and excuses as to why I needed to drink etc I don't now and haven't for several years. I'm only putting in my two cents worth so anyone who is in grip or cycle of alcohol use (or any other addiction for that matter), can hear it from yet one more person. You can get past it but you will need help. It is not something to treat lightly and I believe it definitely is an illness. I took some convincing of this some years ago (even though a user myself) until a counsellor explained that any serious illness falls into several categories including...life threatening (can cause death, your and others), physically debilitating, requires help to cure, severely effects family and others around you....there was more. I still wasn't totally convinced. However now when I look back on the madness of it and the things I did and how I justified myself to myself..well I need no convincing.
I voluntarily got away from aviation for a while. I had been in it earlier in ATC and later as a pilot for most of my life. I went back to college studying something quite different but a subject I had always had a very strong involvement and interest in anyway. While I don't advocate that as a necessity for myself or anybody else it is the route I chose. I also had an excellent Doctor as well who although not having been an addict herself (and they are usually the best counsellors) was terrific. I also had a great AA group. When I started going to that one I couldn't even keep a cup of coffee half full my shakes were so bad.
You can get out of it. Take responsibility for yourself by asking for and getting help. Make it a project to complete or overcome, one of the steps in life that has been dealt to you. But get help, it is there.