The cacophany of mutilated vowels grows ever more strident as one travels North from the Thames Valley. Wishing to remain in the South is a perfectly noble aspiration. I myself have no intention of staying in the grim north more than a second longer the absolutely necessary when I retire. I will not so much as glance over my shoulder as I head back to civilization when I reach 55. In the meantime I have 15 years of misery ahead.