I know exactly how you feel!! I was working for a major airline and left due to relationship problems, my partner didnt want me to be cabincrew and stupid me gave it up... I spent the next 2 years in an abusive relationship (i didnt even know that they existed in the gay community) and ended up doing lots of drugs until I ended it 1 years ago. I never got another job after being crew and wasted 7 years of my life. I have only now worked up the confidence to get back into the work force, but cant stop dreaming of going back to the skies. I have to wait for 5 years to be able to pass the referencing stage and by that time I will be 32!!!! I keep thinking its too old for a guy to be accepted, but im going to try my hardest to prove myself wrong.
I live on the flight path to heathrow and every 2 mins there is plane arriving and it makes me sad to think that it could be me in that plane instead of me who has to wait 5 years, possible longer if i dont get in at first!!
Anyway good luck with whatever you decide to do and if you could find a specialist that could help you out then maybe you could get back up there too..
Best wishes.