Found a thread below - "Pumas in the WTF Role" - and thought I'd pour a little AVTUR on the fire. But it's closed, as probably the usual suspects are all dead, doo-lally, or dronk somethwre....?
Anyway, and for what little it's worth, here's a little 'there we were' stuff.
First up - the 'nearly shot by irate Basingstoke farmer' photo. This was caused, I'm pleased to be here to tell you, by Locking wire. The wrong way round. On hyd test set plug-in. Came out in flight south of Basingstoke, 1500 feet up. Very loud screeching as hyd juice escapes. Extremely loud screeching as aircrew realise they can't.... Much pumping of handle, and saying of prayers on 243.0! Oh, and 'writing-of-long-story-quickly-on-kneepad-for-the-subsequent-Board-of-Inquiry'.
After interesting display of unauthorised aeros, steely blue-eyed killer brings ill-disciplined steed to a low hover over only field without trees. Sloping down about 20 degrees.
'Two greens. Nosewheel red.' ' ....Pump harder, you b*****, there's more juice in the stackpipes.' Pump, pump, pump..... 'Oh, no, there isn't!' Brief - very brief - discussion about dragging nearby bale of hay.... 'Sod that. I'm gonna put it down on the mains, then stopcock the b**** thing, then burn out the rotor brake.' 'What can I do?' 'Well, you could stop asking stoopid questions and do the Christian bit. No, it's not in the FRCs - but it b*****-well ought to be!'
As can be seen it all ended quite well. Except for the 'completely lost-it' enraged farmer who came charging up, red-faced, and carying a shotgun. He was shouting at us. It was only when he aimed the thing at us that we realised he had no intention of helping.... Only the arrival of the cavalry in the overhead, from HMS Odious and the nearby LFA saved our bacon.
Anyway....
