In a lighter vein, the following is reputed to be a report by an efficiency expert attending a concert at London’s Royal Festival Hall. However, it does seem to be rather close to what is being reported here
OBSERVATION: During much of the work period, the four oboe players had nothing to do.
RECOMMENDATION: Reduce number of oboe players. Distribute their work more evenly throughout the work period, eliminating peaks of activity.
OBSERVATION: The twelve violin players were all playing identical notes. This is unnecessary duplication.
RECOMMENDATION: Drastically prune this section. If the resultant cuts lead to a reduction in sound, electronic apparatus will more than make up for the loss in manpower.
OBSERVATION: Considerable time was spent in the playing of demi-semi-quavers; this seems to be an unnecessary refinement.
RECOMMENDATION: All notes should be rounded up to the nearest semi-quaver. If this practice was adopted, it would make it possible to employ trainees and lower-grade operatives more extensively.
OBSERVATION: There is excessive repetition of many musical passages.
RECOMMENDATION: There is wide scope for modification and reduction. Little contribution is made by repeating on the woodwind a passage that has already been dealt with thoroughly by the strings. If all such redundant passages were eliminated, it is estimated that the whole work period, currently two hours, could be reduced to twenty minutes, which would also obviate the need for an interval.
CONCLUSION
The conductor has been consulted about these recommendations and is generally in agreement with them, though the opinion was expressed that there might be some falling off in box-office receipts. If this indeed proves to be the case, it should be possible to close sections of the auditorium entirely resulting in additional savings in overhead expenses, heating, lighting, attendance, ancillary staff etc. And if the worst came to the worst, the entire program could be shut down and the public could attend a similar work period at the Albert Hall instead.
Bob C