To Brian Abraham re: my sign off
Hi Brian,
I took the "Blue skies" sign off from a friend of mine, Frank Frey, about 12 years ago. Frank was a kind and gentle man, a former Marine Captain and pilot who was dismissed from the service due to his drinking. He was unable to pursue flying as a living and worked as a fry cook for Waffle House.
Frank was one of us who never managed to get sober and he killed himself after many struggles to recover. He was a tormented soul and he and I spent many hours together, talking about recovery, spending time together, and attending meetings.
Once, when Frank visited me in prison, he smuggled a Mrs. Winner's chicken and biscuit sandwich into the visiting room in his sock. After the visiting room filled up I gulped it down, so fast I barely had time to taste it. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.
Some would view Frank as a hopeless drunk. I saw him otherwise because I understand the disease of alcoholism, and I shed tears at the news of his suicide. Interesting, isn't it, how we view victims of cancer or Alzheimer's and have great sympathy and compassion for them...while we see alcoholics and have nothing but disgust and contempt.
In my sixteen years sober I have lost 36 friends to this disease. Some I have known better than others, but all have been personal friends. Early in my sobriety I was angry when these things took place, considering their loss of life as a needless and unecessary waste. I had always felt that way about my parents' deaths.
As time went on and I understood more, my attitude changed. As I viewed my sobriety more as a gift than an accomplishment, the level of my compassion grew. So today when I attend a funeral of someone who didn't make it, I stand over the casket, look down, and quietly think, "Thank you, my friend, for your sacrifice. Thank you for showing me what will happen if I do what you did. Thank you for allowing me to live another day sober." I am able to convert a negative into a positive if my attitude is what it should be.
And I never lose sight of the fact that the person in the coffin could be me, as well as the drunk sleeping in the doorway or in an alley. As has been said earlier, "There but for the grace of God..."
Blue skies,
Lyle