Are all PPL holders arrogant, ignorant pompous trolls?

[Juud]

eharding & Nipper2, you obviously have the talent, but you need WAY more practice.
Now let me show you how the big boys do it:


Flight's 35 mins blocks to blocks, 180 pax of whom 52 in business class, (all of whom will need to be fed & watered and served coffee after that) there's 3 FAs and the FSB sign has been switched off 3 secs ago. (that is 7 mins of the 35 GONE!)
DING DONG!!
"Jude here"
"Jude could you step into the cockpit pet?"
frantic look at watch
"Sure Captain, on my way"
"Ah there you are darling, everything OK in the cabin, lovely morning isn't it?"
feckit, get on with it mate, that's 9 minutes gone
"Anything I can do for you guys, tea, coffee, a snack?"
"Oooh we have snacks do we, what kind my dear?"
"The usual Captn, same we've been having for the past 6 months, scampi salad or blueberry pancakes"
11 minutes gone
"Well I'm not sure, John would you like the scampi?"
"No no no Captn, YOU have the scampi, I don't mind at all"
"No need to be so formal John, YOU have it"
"Eeermm guys, I'm in a bit of a hurry here, why don't I bring you both and then you decide in your own good time?"
12 minutes gone, nervous tension is now getting to me, starting to break a sweat
"Excellent idea pet, that's what we'll do! Oh and please, John, what would you like to drink? Coffee, tea?"
"I'll have coke-light please, do we have a slice of lemon Jude?"
"Sure mate, nurries. How about you Captn?"
"Coffee's fresh is it?"
of course it's fecking fresh, it's 0645 in the frigging morning, you think I saved it from last night???
"Yes Captain, coffee's fresh, just brewed it myself"
"Oh well, I think I'll have a nice cuppa tea then. Any Earl Grey about?"
"No Captn, just regular I'm afraid"
where the hell does he think he is? The fecking Ritz??
"Oh well, mustn't keep you, I'm sure you're busy"
no sh!t Sherlock
"Please could I havere regular milk, I really don't like the powdered stuff, and my wife's telling me to watch my weight so could I have one sweetener and half a sugar please?"
"Coming up guys, and could you please just open the door when I knock so I won't have to call again?"
"Sure Jude, just one thing though sweetheart; as Purser you really should learn to relax a bit, you seem a tad tense there"

Guys, THAT'S how it's done!