I read through it, despondent to see that they had left out 'Lose some weight, you pig'.
Select your flight carefully - if the plane is only half full
they might just be able to take off.
Work to get an empty seat beside you
if your potential neighbours don't do it for you.
Preboard
Many airlines allow people with special needs to board ahead of the rest of the other passengers
Given that these people are usually elderly, in a wheelchair, or otherwise incapacitated, chow down a burger before your flight, because hey - you're special too!
Check out the tray table
Is that skinny guy in front of you denying you room to scoff your body weight in fries? "Stewardess!!!!! HELP ME - I CAN'T EAT!!!"
Put up the armrest
Spill your mounds of sweaty, odiferous adipose tissue onto the person next to you - before takeoff! Let him feel the pillowed fat of your atrophied, soft arm, and to Hell with regulations.
Ask for a seatbelt extender
In the event of an incident, you'll be needed as a valued passenger to (a) block the exit; then (b) collapse the slide and ensure the people behind you pick up the insurance for those cool compound fractures and third-degree burns.
Plan for restroom problems
Many aircraft restrroms are so small as to be unusable by people chucking hippos into the lavatories. Try to block the ones at the airport before travelling. Ask if there is a handicapped restroom on board so you can sit there for hours while old people have to irrigate the aisle.
Work on having a sense of humour
When someone calls you a vile, worthless, corpulent and palpable drain on the Universe's resources, it's just a wee joke. And aren't people like you meant to be jolly?
BOFH