This was posted by
DockJock at
AviatorSelect and I thought I'd share it with you!!
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Dear Internet Forum,
I am a student pilot that wants to fly for the airlines someday, but have noticed that there are many different ways of getting a job on a 747. What I am most concerned with is being viewed by my colleagues as a sissy, wimp, or not being a 'real' pilot. Please help me with some questions regarding the method of gaining the maximum amount of respect in my pursuit of a career as a pilot:
Firstly, how far north is sufficient? Is Pickle Lake far enough? How about Thompson or Churchill? I was thinking more along the lines of Alert, but not sure if there is human life up there...hey maybe I could start an airline myself in Alert. Surely I would get respect then!
What about Floats vs. IFR? I already know instructors are considered sissies so thats out. And what about when I move to Alert. I know I should avoid getting a flying job right away (after all that might be considered 'too easy', and therefore not eligible for maximum respect). Perhaps I should start on the dock, or ramp...but maybe that's too easy too. I guess I could get a job cleaning the toilets in the gas station, then move to the ramp where I would concentrate on not flying for at least a year...then get flying. Remember I'm after not just respect, but maximum respect!
So back to floats vs. IFR. I know with floats you have more opportunity to fly overloaded, but in IFR you get to brag about 'busting minimums', which is definitely cool. I can't decide what garners the most respect from fellow pilots though. Perhaps I could find a company that flies IFR AND overweight, and then I could really focus on 'busting minimums' as much as possible! Am I on the right track?
Also, I know I should find a company where the pay is horrible and the living conditions even worse. This shouldn't be hard in the north, but maybe it would be better to live in a tent just the same. That way I'll really be suffering and I can truly brag about 'been there done that' later. Boy, if I ever meet a flight instructor later I'll be able mock him good! If I really try too, I know its better to find somewhere that flies poorly maintained airplanes that challenge my flying ability to the max. I could master the 'non-IFR approved' GPS approach, and also of course I would pull the autopilot circuit breaker when the weather really gets tough. Autopilot is for sissies I heard somewhere! Man those babies down in Churchill and Sioux Lookout don't know how good they have it! You guys use your heading indicator? We use starshots! Thats the real respect, for real.
When I do finally get flying, what are acceptable conditions to go in? For example, what if, one day I show up and the aircraft is in working order, the weather is good, and the load is legal? Should I still go, or wait until more cargo arrives?Remember, nobody ever got maximum respect from an easy trip like that! I guess it would be okay if I kept myself awake the night before to make sure I was overtired. You know, just for the challenge.
What would I do in the summer though? After all it gets up above zero degrees...waaaaayy too warm for respect weather, unless there are tons of blackflies! I guess I could quit (just to keep myself hungry), and maybe move to the antarctic in the summer. The problem is the pay down there...its actually good! I guess I could go on pogey though, maybe sleep outside the tent when it gets too easy, and smear honey on me to attract the huge respect-generating blackflies.
After I get all this respect then, what do I do next? Do I have to take a job on a turbine aircraft or are there other respect-oriented jobs out there for a person with time? I never want to be one of those ***** Sioux lookout babies, or Fort Mcmurray softies...and Yellowknife is practially a city! Gotta stay away from that, I know. I guess I answered my own question then. I should start working on Russian citizenship so I can bid for that Siberia base eventually, for crap pay and horrible living conditions and even worse weather.
Anyone know if Aeroflot flies overweight? Inquiring minds want to know!!!!
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