OK, mad bear, point taken. No, I don't have kids, and it does make a difference. But neither am I 20...in fact, I can hardly even remember being 20.
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So, here's a possible plan of action for you....
Do all the flying you can now, until the money you can sensibly spend on flying runs out. Don't worry about whether that's after first solo, halfway through, when you're nearly there, or whatever. So long as you're enjoying it, stop being so goal-orientated and just fly.
Don't retire. Or retire, and get another job. Or move to part time work. Use the extra money to fly. Or use it now to fly, and work then to help your kids. If they need your help that much...I had an idea that starting work meant you were earning money so didn't need parental help. But like you said, I don't have kids, and I'm not planning on telling you how to bring yours up.
60 or thereabouts is NOT 'in your dotage', not these days. No, I'm not quite that old, but pretty close. So trust me on this. And having started a new career fairly recently, no way am I going to retire simply because the calendar says I should, or because our ageist society thinks I'm getting old. Now, maybe you're in a job which will make you retire, but there's nothing to stop you doing something else to earn money, if you want to. Maybe you don't. Maybe you want to put your feet up. Fair enough. But I think you have a choice.
What I'm trying to say is that I think you have options. But I'm beginning to get the feeling that you're talking yourself out of continuing with flying by saying that you don't - that you can't afford it, that there's nothing you fit into, that it'll take you too long, etc etc. Look, if you want to give up, give up. It's your choice. But maybe you should look at what you really want rather than clouding the issue so thoroughly.