Thick Pax 1-
Pax: Wandering around rear toilets of 747 (row 68)looking bewildered and lost
Crew (me): Madam, you look lost
Pax: I cannot find my seat
Crew: Can you remember your seat number?
Pax: Yes, 14A
Crew: Oh, you are in Business class?
Pax:Yes
Crew: Well, business class is at the front of the plane
Pax: Which way is the front of the plane?
Thick Pax 2-
Crew announcement (me again): Please follow the white lines on the tarmac to our aircraft, parked directly outside the terminal. It is the only white jet out there today. Please do not board the red jet as it is not our aircraft. Again, please board the white jet. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask me before proceeding out onto the tarmac
First passenger to board: Which one is the white jet??
Me: Um, the white one.
Pax: oh. (pax proceeds through gate)