As a token holding officer some years ago I was of course the only choice for the job of Mr Vice.
The job was made somewhat easier when I found out that a reverse dining in night had been authorized! Essentially the evening started with grace, immediately followed by the loyal toast. This therefore meant that drunken debauchery and drunkenness were valid throughout the whole meal - excellent.
Just a thought.
PS 'twas a small mess and probably the smallest dining-in I have been to - it certainly did help liven things up