No CB will suck a 1000kg+ lump upwards, IMHO.
With the greatest of respect, that's not correct.
Firstly it's not a lump, it's an aerodynamic object. With a chute that simply means that if the descent rate is matched by a similar updraft, the the object will neither climb nor descend. If it's stronger, it will go up. Without a chute makes very little difference - once again if the updraft exceeds the descent rate you will climb. That's the basis of gliding, and it works for heavier aircraft. There have been multiple instances of jet aircraft simply not having the power to climb in a microburst, and consequently the aircraft crashed. The opposite is also true. No pilot can risk assuming he will be able to descend (or climb) in a CB.
How fast can a TB20 safely descend? 4000fpm? A CB can
easily exceed a 5000fpm updraft. What was it the man said? 'Rule books are paper - they will not cushion a sudden meeting of stone and metal.'